I choose you, Rafflesia Arnoldi.

The Biology of Pokemon

Pokemon! The franchise that had Nintendo rolling in cash and introduced the world to several hundred ridiculous little cock-fighting monsters with superpowers. Often dismissed by more "mature" gamers as just another corporate-driven marketing scheme, the franchise was originally cooked up by then-unknown artist Satoshi Tajiri, who's passion for monsters, mythology and insect-collecting inspired his "pocket monsters" concept many years before he would get caught up in the videogame business.

None could have predicted Pokemon's explosive success, and the world as we know it has never been the same. At least, it's been the same except for an entire generation knowing the "Team Rocket" motto, and that's good enough for me.

An interesting thing about the Japanese school system is how much stock they put into biology. Whereas millions of Americans grow up each year shamefully unaware of what an Opabinia looks like, our eastern friends treat the far reaches of Earth's flora and fauna as a staple of children's homework. The (obviously intentional) result of this is that animals most westerners consider "obscure" are given the star treatment for countless Anime, Manga, and Videogames...

In brackish mud flats, mangroves and riverbanks throughout warmer corners of the globe lurks a remarkable family of fish who spend more time on the land than in the water. Able to slither over mud even faster than they can swim, Mudskippers easily beat both the climbing perch and walking catfish for the coveted title of most amphibious Pisces. Ranging wildly in size but little in style, nearly all mudskippers are communal mud-burrowers who feed on insects, worms and small crustaceans. Some species are even climbers, with the rear pair of fins adapted as a "sucker" to grip small rocks or branches.

Commonly mistake for a "fly" or "bee" by pokemon fans, the Ninjask family can confuse even adult players with its strange system of evolution; once Nincada transforms into Ninjask, it may leave behind a second new pokemon called a "Shedinja". Part "bug type" and part "ghost type", the Shedinja is a strange, hovering exoskeleton with a frail body but powerful defensive abilities.

To those of us familiar with the humble cicada, Shedinja is an ingenious take on a very simple concept. In the real world, Cicadas begin their lives deep underground, feeding on tree roots and rarely moving for up to 17 years at a time in some species. When the time comes to mature and reproduce, the crablike creatures burrow up from the ground in droves, climb the trunk of their tree and molt into large, beautiful winged adults. The by-product of the molting process is an empty, transparent skeleton of the immature stage, left almost perfectly intact except for a large exit-hole on the back. More commonly heard than seen, Cicadas produce one of the loudest mating calls in nature, and can be heard chattering throughout the summer months in most parts of the world.

Another tricky one for some; it is easy to assume that Flygon is a "dragonfly" pokemon, given its appearance and "dragon" classification, but Trapinch and its evolutions owe their design to a seldom-seen predator known in the west as an Antlion. The short-lived adult stage of this insect does indeed resemble a dragonfly, but it is the larval stage of certain species that these creatures are famous for. Sometimes called a "doodlebug", this voracious little monster digs a steep, conical pit-trap in sand or loose soil and buries itself at the bottom, waiting patiently for tiny insects to slip and tumble straight into its venomous jaws.

Amazingly enough, these pits are angled with a perfect mathematical precision; any steeper and the walls would collapse. Any wider, and prey could escape. The insect even adjusts its construction according to the density of the soil.

Also called Pelican eels, these eerie abyssal fish can be found at depths of 5000 to 8000 feet below the sea's surface, and can grow up to two feet long from head to tail. Aptly named, gulpers can unhinge their already-disproportionate jaws and expand their stomachs to accomodate prey many times their size. Like many other deep-sea fish, gulpers often attract prey with a bioluminescent "lure"; in this case, a bulbous light spot on the tip of the tail. Hanging motionless in the water column, a gulper brings its tail around and wiggles the tip right inside its gaping maw.

At a whopping two to three feet long, Anomalocaris reigned supreme as the world's largest predator millions of years before life emerged onto land or developed the conceptof an internal skeleton. Now thought to be a lobopod (like the terrestrial, still-living peripatus or velvet-worm), this miniature monster terrorized the seas for almost 40 million years, preying upon small trilobites snatched up in its spiny "feelers". These feelers, interestingly, were the first piece of the animal ever discovered, and were thought to be the tails of some unknown shrimp-like animal. Later, the circular mouth would be discovered and misidentified as a "toothed jellyfish", while an imprint of the body was taken for some sort of plant or sea-pen. "Anomalous" indeed!

Lileep and Cradily are a strange pair; bearing the grass type implies that they are plants, whereas the pokedex refers to them as marine "anemones", a kind of animal. Their conceptual model, however, is an entirely different marine animal sometimes called a "sea lily".

Related to starfish and sea urchins, crinoids are echinoderms that feed primarily on plankton ensared by their feathery tentacled. Usually rooted in place by a long, thin stalk, most crinoids are nonetheless quite mobile when the need arises, and some species have even been observed "walking" on two tentacles in a weirdly anthropomorphic manner. Among the most common oceanic life in ancient times, modern lilies prefer the abyssal zones of the sea and are rarely seen by man.

Bagworm caterpillars are reviled by many, as they are ravenous parasites of evergreen trees and can fatally strip one of needles in mere months. Unlike most other caterpillars, they construct a cocoon long before they are ready to metamorphose, and coat it in the leaves of their host plant for protection and camoflage until they seal themselves up and pupate in the fall. While the males emerge days later as small, drab moths, the females mature into limbless, wingless, faceless reproductive machines who will remain in their bags until death. Incapable of laying their own eggs, larvae must struggle to escape from their mother's corpse when spring arrives.

It is somewhat possible that Shuckle has no basis in reality, but more likely that this unique bug/rock pokemon was inspired in part by these common but seldom-noticed plant parasites. Attached to their host by a thick shell of their own waxy secretions, adult scale insects have soft, flat bodies with useless vestigial legs. Like aphids, their bodily waste is a sweet, sugary "honeydew" that oozes from their casing (compare to Shuckle's "potion" filled shell) and is favored by certain species of ant who in turn protect the scales from predators. Young scales, fully mobile, are called "crawlers".

Many overlook the Cicada aspect of Paras, especially in favor of Nincada's more direct approach to the idea, but Paras is the older of the two, bears a closer likeness to the real thing, and focuses instead on parasite infestation. Apples and oranges, really.

Complain all you like about Athlete's foot, but it has always been insects who suffer the full brunt of fungal assault as a plethora of molds and mushrooms call the little critters home. What's more, nearly all insect-eating fungi have the capacity to alter their hosts behavior in ways that benefit only the parasite. One variety causes flies to commit suicide, latching onto a blade of grass and flapping their wings wildly to spread fungal spores until they die of exhaustion. Others produce colorful and elaborate horns or tentacles on the host's body; a tempting treat for predators who can spread the fungus even farther.

In Paras' case, mushrooms overtake the host brain and prevent transformation into an adult cicada-like animal, instead creating a larger subterranean insect who's brain acts entirely on fungoid will. Zombie-licious!

The largest single flower in the world, the giant rafflesia can reach up to three feet across, and is among the rarest tropical plants known to man. Without leaves, roots or even a stem, the disembodied blossom grows only as a parasite on the vines of another plant, Tetrastigma. They are sometimes called the "corpse flower", as they favor flies for pollination and mimic both the texture and smell of decaying flesh. Amazingly, every massive blossom produces only one tiny seed, which sticks to the fur of small mammals in the vague hope of finding another Tetrastigma.

Seldom referenced in American culture, Rafflesia are a relatively popular icon in Japan and have found their way into much more than just Pokemon, with many other videogame appearances (including Animal Crossing: Wild World) and a handful of rubber-suit television monsters to their name.

Though constantly overshadowed by the world's lone species of Venus Fly-Trap, there are actually many plants that prey on small animals, and pitcher-traps come in the greatest variety of all. They generally attract prey with their coloration and scent, though some species secrete an intoxicating nectar to seal the deal. Nearly any insect landing on the lip of a pitcher, winged or not, is doomed to slip and fall inside before it can react, and will find itself face-first in a pool of water and digestive enzymes. Oily, downward-pointing bristles make climbing out a near-impossible task, and some species are even dotted with transparent "windows" that an insect cannot differentiate from the real exit.

As crafty as these plants are on their own, it is not unheard of for certain spiders to take up residence in a pitcher and stretch their web across the opening. Combined, they trap more prey than they ever would alone, and the spider instinctively drops nutritious leftovers into the pool below.

Though Raticate is known as just the "rat" pokemon, it borrows its appearance and pokedex information from the a specific kind of giant water-rat. Raised in captivity for cheap meat and cheaper fur, escaped Nutria have become a bit of an ecological pest throughout America where the beaver-sized rodents devour local plant and animal life alike, which we can hardly blame them for because they are absolutely adorable. As Raticate's pokedex mentions the hind feet are webbed. As Raticate's pokedex will likely never mention under any circumstances, the female teats are situated along her back... how else will ratlings nurse while she swims?

Off the coast of Africa in 1938, zoological history was made with the discovery of a living species previously thought extinct for over 360 million years. Over a hundred species of coelecanth are known from fossil remains, but only two are known to survive today, and remain a rare and celebrated sighting. These nine-finned fish are the only living animal with an intercranial joint - a division allowing the front of their head to bend upwards as they feed - and give birth to live young. They feed on any smaller creature they can get ahold of, and reach up to six feet in length.

Like their frog and toad cousins, salamanders begin their lives in a water-breathing larval stage. These salamander "tadpoles" resemble stunted adults with flatter tails and feathery, external gills. There's a few species, however, that spend their entire lives in this stage...at least, they're supposed to. Axolotls are large, hardy, cold-water salamanders that normally retain their gills for life, but under specific environmental conditions they can metamorphose into an "adult" form that rarely lives longer than a few weeks. This unusual process is a throwback to their evolutionary heritage, and usually occurs only under human intervention.

Axolotls are native to just one lake in the world, but boast a massive captive population as pets and laboratory animals, studied for their exceptional regenerative capabilities.

Many eager young fans like to pretend that these pokemon are "Raptors", but the truth is far more interesting than a sauropod that barely exists; the proper term, you see, is Deinonychusaur, and the popular "Jurassic park" version is complete inaccurate.

Leaf-tailed geckos, like all other geckos, are wide-eyed nocturnal insectivores with amazing static-charged toes with which they can climb even a smooth glass window as easily as rugged tree bark. Unlike other geckos, leaf-tail varieties are equipped with numerous expandable frills and membranes allowing them to leap great distances and glide like the famed flying squirrel. They also look a lot cooler than "raptors", too...talons be damned.

Allright, look, I know you've all comfortably thought of these two pokemon as "ducks" since the dawn of the 21st century, but you're just going to have to wake up and accept the fact that having "duck" in their names doesn't mean a damn thing. During the prototype phases of Pokemon: Red and Green (yes, Red and Green), "flying" type was known as "bird" type, and given to every bird-based pokemon wether or not they could actually fly (see: Doduo and Dodrio). Psyduck and Golduck, however, did not receive the "bird" or "flying" type because they are not birds. With four webbed limbs, a full covering of fur, mammalian tails and the ability to swim underwater, these two pokemon always have been and always will be duck-billed Platypi and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You might try to say that they're just styleized, duck-like monsters, but that would still make them styleized, duck-like monsters identical to platypi. You must see the futility in arguing this.

Swampert - the Mudskipper

Nincada, Ninjask, and Shedinja - Cicadas

Trapinch, Vibrava and Flygon - The Antlion

Huntail - the Deep sea Gulper Eel

Anorith and Armaldo - Anomalocaris

Lileep and Cradily - Crinoids or "Sea lilies"

Shuckle - Scale Insects

Paras and Parasect - Cicadas & parasitic fungi

Vileplume - Rafflesia Arnoldi

Victreebel - Nepenthes

Raticate - the Nutria

Relicanth - Coelecanth

Wooper and Quagsire - Axolotls

Sceptile family - Leaf-tailed Geckos

Psyduck and Golduck - PLATYPI!

While "folkloric" creatures are really a subject for a whole different article, I thought I would make an exception for Dunsparce as everyone who sees one demands to know just what the hell they're looking at.

To get right down to buisiness, the Tsuchinoko is supposed to be a fat snake with a round head that can jump. Yes, really. This japanese legend is most certainly inspired by ordinary, overfed reptiles, but "sightings" (probably also of ordinary, overfed reptiles) persist to this very day. Many even consider the Tsuchinoko a valid Cryptozoological phenomenon on par with the Sasquatch or Kongamato, and a pretty bounty for its capture has been in effect for generations. However unlikely its existence may be, the complete lack of evidence only seems to add to the stunted serpent's charm, and it enjoys the same sort of campy appreciation as America's own Jackalope. All I know is, the whole idea is just cute as the dickens...and so is my beloved Dunsparce.

Dunsparce - the mythical Tsuchinoko

Poor, misunderstood Gorebyss. The bright pink, needle-nosed "eel" in seashell brasierre has been labeled everything from a hagfish to a pipefish and even a dolphin, of all things (wishful thinking by Delphinidae fans). Evolving from clamperl with the aid of a "deep sea scale", there should be no mistaking this abyssal fish for a sea-mammal. Gorebyss even forms a deepwater duo with the aforementioned Huntail, which evolves from Clamperl with a "deep sea tooth".

While the long-nosed Chimaera does not actually feed through its snout (as is the case with vicious, vampiric Gorebyss), it is an animal distinctly associated with the Abyssal reaches, and there is no denying the physical resemblance. Several other species of Chimaeraform exist, but like many other deep-sea creatures, they enjoyed more diversity in prehistoric times. They are related to sharks and rays, but belong in their own subgroup of carilaginous fish. Most prey on hard-shelled creatures, and a flexible spine at the base of their dorsal fin is dangerously venomous.

Gorebyss - The Long-nosed Chimaera

The legendary water type "Manaphy" of "Pokemon: Diamond and Pearl" can be bred to produce the much-less-legendary Fione, populating the pokeseas with its malphormed offspring. Cute, but nowhere near as cute as the real-world Clione. These tiny, shell-less sea snails, with their darling little "wings", are yet another oddball animal idolized by the Japanese, who call it "Naked Turtle Shell" or "Angel of the Ice". They are, as you may have guessed, cold-water animals, and follow broken ice floes out to sea as spring approaches. They mate side-by-side, each embracing the other with one wing while swimming in unison.

Unlike their pokemon counterparts, these precious sea-pixies are actually rather brutal predators, and feed almost exclusively on another, shell-bearing species of swimming snail. With a ring of expandable tentacles concealed within its saclike head, the Clione ensnares its preferred quarry and utilizes "hook sacs" to tear the entire catch out of its shell, which the little sea-angel tosses aside as it engulfs the prey alive and bores into it with tooth-lined tongue.

Fione & Manaphy - Clione or "Sea Butterflies"

Pineco & Forretress (left)
& the Minomucchi family (right)
- Bagworm Moths

Though referred to as a "cricket" Pokemon, the musical Korotooku is actually based on a type of carnivorous Carabid beetle, Mormolyce phylloides. Commonly called a violin beetle, fiddle beetle or Malayan leaf beetle. These beetles have been the basis for several other Japanese monsters, and the swept or sickle-shaped antenna are seen as a major distinguishing characteristic.

Unlike crickets or Kricketune, the violin beetle cannot produce sound. Its flattened body is highly effective for a life amidst tree bark, leaf litter or loose soil, and its elongated head can draw smaller insect prey out of tunnels and crevasses. When threatened, this beetle ejects butyric acid from glands within its abdomen, capable of paralyzing human fingers for over a day.

Kricketune - The Violin Beetle

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