Worst Pirate Ever
 AHOY! Check out this 99 cent "pirate playset" available from Dollar
Tree. Nothing particularly weird at first glance, but take a closer look
at the so-called "pirate" figure:
 No, this is not just a factory mishap. Every single one of this
particular playset included the same malphormed alien blob of a
pirate captain, and the hilarity doesn't end there!
 Both of the included weapons are larger than the pirate himself.
They're still about the length of a human thumb, so who or what is
actually meant to use these?