HALLOWEEN SHOPPING 2022:
CRAZY BONEZ




Earlier in the season, I'd included this "cute skeleton octopus" in a review of products from the "At Home" store chain, and speculated it was a knockoff of the Crazy Bonez brand octopus, but I was wrong! DEAD wrong! JUST LIKE BONES!!!!!! it's a genuine Crazy Bonez item! And since they've come out with a number of other new models this year, I've transplanted this one to a whole new 2022 Crazy Bonez review! I'll even delve a little further into this one while we're at it, too:


The original Crazy Bonez Skeleton Octopus is a cool, menacing monster; its tentacles are spinal cords while its noseless, mouthless skull features a fearsome set of eye sockets and swells into an entire rib cage for a head! A truly unique and novel design. The newer, tinier mollusk features similar tentacles, just a little shorter, and its "cartoonier" octopus head is a simple, smooth bulb of bone with only two innocent, circular little eye holes. It's definitely lovable, covering a whole different style of octopus, and it's equally fair to interpret as either its own distinct species, a juvenile of the larger variety, or simply a case of sexual dimorphism, since there are multiple octopus species whose males are much, much nubbier and tinier than the females.



CUTE SKELETON BIRD

The octopus isn't the only one in the "cute" skeleton line; there's also this cartoony bird, whose swollen skull is almost, but legally not quite, like the fleshless corpse of Tweety Bird. Hopefully because Sylvester finally got the smug little bastard once and for all.



CUTE SKELETON SNAKE

There's also a cute, cartoony skeleton snake! An interesting choice, snakes seldom ever get a chance to be "toon animals."



SKELETON BUNNY

See, one of the others is a classic go-to cutesy animal, though this rabbit's design is actually more sinister than cartoonish, other than the ears on top of the skull.



SKELEPUMPKIN

Really making waves on social media this year is the Skeleton Pumpkin! It's surprisingly not the first time I've seen a pumpkin made entirely of bones, but the last one was an expensive resin candle holder, if I recall correctly. Now, at long last, there's a simple affordable skelepumpkin! Basically one big radically symmetrical rib cage in a pumpkin shape, straightforward and effective. I'd love to see one someday with a spooky face in it, maybe working like the skeleton octopod's skull-ribcage head combo? For now, it'd be easy to stick some prop eyeballs in between this one's ribs or even dangle them inside. You could also put a rubber brain in there! And bugs! And snakes! Pretty much anything!



SKULL MOON

This doesn't have Crazy Bonez branding, but it is from their parent company, Seasons, and obviously not any sane kind of bone, so it obviously counts. We've seen skulls shaped like crescent moons before, but usually as highly pricey figurines and statues. This is the first time we've gotten a plastic one accessible to us commoners, for which we should all be thankful. Especially because it also glows in the dark, and it is hilariously, delightfully flat. I know that's just to save on materials, but I choose to believe this celestial skeleton monster really just looks like that.


...It also glows in the dark! The glow paint is a bit dim and splotchy, but that only makes it look all the more grotesque.



SKELETON BIRD NEST

One of my new favorites! Matching the style of the many skeleton birds on offer - from Crazy Bonez or otherwise - are these two little skeleton baby birds sticking out of a "nest" made of bones. Bones that include some entire humanoid skulls sculpted in, so either these represent GIGANTIC birds or their nest includes the remains of a few very tiny people. Fairies? Shrunken humans? Heck, why not both? Now you've got one of the darkest Fern Gully alternate endings to ponder.



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