Bogleech.com's 2013 Horror Write-off:

"Unconvincing"

Submitted by Doc Docson

I don’t think they quite understand what I’m saying, or just don’t feel like listening to me. Maybe just don’t care. I don’t blame them. We’ve been here for around two weeks now. Two weeks, huddled around this strange object and creature of apparent alien origin, and it’s boring.

We haven’t told anyone. It’s not like we have the intention of keeping it secret forever. It’s not our job to be secretive. However, we can’t do our job if we can’t work in peace. But we aren’t going anywhere, and I know exactly why. At this point, if the media got here we might actually have a better shot.

It’s real. We’ve confirmed this beyond reasonable doubt. It’s not dangerous. Some us were kind of hoping it was, especially around the beginning of the second week.

We can infer that it’s some sort of crashed vessel. We can tell which parts are broken. We can tell it’s for personal use, we can figure it’s a sort of escape pod. We know which parts are the controls, which part is the seat, where’s the life support. We can tell some symbols here and there are some sort of language, and I would bet anything we will eventually be able to tell what it’s made of. And we can assume the creature to be sentient, and confirm it to be dead. We can tell it’s facial features. “Amphibian-like”, some said. This made me laugh; it’s got a flat face with two eyes, two big nostrils and a mouth, I wouldn’t describe it as anything but ape-like. Two arms, two legs – not “appendages”, as they insist on calling them, arms and legs with their hands and feet. Webbed maybe, I didn’t count the number of fingers either – does it matter? It’s got a torso, we can even tell its ribs through the flesh. They want to dissect it. Waste of time – it’s gonna have lungs and a heart, and a stomach and intestines.

That it’s so well-understood to us in just two weeks unsettles me deeply.

I don’t care if the crash site shows all the signs.

It has skin and bones and a face and basically every mundane structure that we can recognize. It walked on two legs, breathed air, talked in syllables and made a run for it as soon as it saw the guns.

There is absolutely no way this thing can be described as “alien”.