INVENTORY AS OF PAGE 981

FERN'S ITEMS (12/20 SLOTS)

KIDNEY SWORD:

A broken scrap of wood, coated in the mineral deposits of the monstrous Mother Kidney Stone. It enables the SLASH command.


BABY KIDNEY STONE:

One of the Mother Kidney Stone's offspring. It can inflict a single damage per turn to opponents.


EGGLET

A device that allows Hospital staff to care remotely for a baby across realities.

WEIRD SLEEPY BABY

Nicole's little daughter was inexplicably imprisoned in a snack machine. Now she's safe and sound, as far as you can tell...though she seems to be in a very deep slumber.


COMPUTER MONITOR SHELL:

An empty computer monitor given to you by Balmer. He wants you to somehow get him some sort of internet-like access.


"GET WELL" CUPCAKE:

Awarded for Fern's first act of kindness in the hospital. It may be pretty potent.


RAMBLIN' EVIL COLORECTAL POLYP:

A wandering monster who decided to take up space in your inventory. After it warmed up to you, it started to help out in battle by analyzing enemy stats.


ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT:

A little being Dr. Man left with you. Doesn't talk much, apparently blocks "malady damage" during battle.


"IN ORDER" NOTE:

Will this put something "in order?" It probably works only on doors.


DANGEROUS APPLE

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? If it comes down to it, you might have to find out.


PLUSH CREATURE ON A STRING:

What the heck is it? You're not sure. It reminds you of a big cat toy.

EXTREMELY MOLDY BREAD

You can smell the sharp, acidic, mushroomy smell from here.

MANNEQUIN HAND

CAT HAIRBALL

Found inside of Lacey, the talking wound. Can apparently be used to conjure her up from any large gash in an organic surface.

HAND VACUUM

Looks like it came straight from the 70's with its unpleasant, creamy colors and yellowed stains. Flipping the switch confirms that it still has some power.

OOLD POLLEP

Your slob-brain knows instinctively that this object will automatically save your current body from destruction.


DEAD MOUSE

The buzzers seem to feel that this is just what your new computer needs. Makes as much sense as anything else in this place...


+CURRENTLY WEARING: FLYLACTERY

Given to you by Magdolene, offspring of Maggie and the Hospital's official maggot therapist. Enables use of maggot-based long-range attacks.

WILLIS'S ITEMS (5/10 SLOTS)

BLACKLIGHT:

Reveals hidden stains, damaging all combatants once per battle.


SHPOOMF

A "snack" of some sort, retrieved by Willis from a vending machine. He seems to know what it is, at least.


GREEN POTION x1

Restorative substance recovered from Jay's old room.

WRONG WAY SIGN

It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...

GAUZE MOTH

A harmless if mildly annoying Hospital pest.




CURRENTLY IN STORAGE:



PURPLE BOOK

Found in Lacey's boarding room.


BIOHAZARD KEY:

Found in Jay's room. It has a red tag with a biohazard sign. Reminds you of someone.


BIG RUBBER GLOVES

You feel good with these on. Kind of...generally more confident.

STAFF PIN

Unlike Tori's ID card, this doesn't feel like it's trying to suck out your soul and replace it with hot spaghetti. It seems to fool the doctors into thinking you're a staffer, quite possibly of the lowest order.

HOSPITAL SOCKS:

Actually clean and comfortable. They'll protect your feet, presumably.