INVENTORY AS OF PAGE 750

FERN'S ITEMS (10/10 SLOTS)

KIDNEY SWORD:

A broken scrap of wood, coated in the mineral deposits of the monstrous Mother Kidney Stone. It enables the SLASH command.


BABY KIDNEY STONE:

One of the Mother Kidney Stone's offspring. It can inflict a single damage per turn to opponents.


"GET WELL" CUPCAKE:

Awarded for Fern's first act of kindness in the hospital. It may be pretty potent.


RAMBLIN' EVIL COLORECTAL POLYP:

A wandering monster who decided to take up space in your inventory. After it warmed up to you, it started to help out in battle by analyzing enemy stats.


ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT:

A little being Dr. Man left with you. Doesn't talk much, apparently blocks "malady damage" during battle.


"IN ORDER" NOTE:

Will this put something "in order?" It probably works only on doors.


DANGEROUS APPLE

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? If it comes down to it, you might have to find out.


WRONG WAY SIGN

It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...

+CURRENTLY WEARING: BIG RUBBER GLOVES

You feel good with these on. Kind of...generally more confident.

+CURRENTLY WEARING: STAFF PIN

Unlike Tori's ID card, this doesn't feel like it's trying to suck out your soul and replace it with hot spaghetti. It seems to fool the doctors into thinking you're a staffer, quite possibly of the lowest order.

WILLIS'S ITEMS (8/10 SLOTS)

BLACKLIGHT:

Reveals hidden stains, damaging all combatants once per battle.


SHPOOMF

A "snack" of some sort, retrieved by Willis from a vending machine. He seems to know what it is, at least.


GRULTCH:

A "snack" of some sort, retrieved by Willis from a vending machine. He seems to know what it is, at least.


MANNEQUIN HAND

HAND VACUUM

Looks like it came straight from the 70's with its unpleasant, creamy colors and yellowed stains. Flipping the switch confirms that it still has some power.

DEAD...THING

Fortunately not moving. It looks very dried out and brittle.

EXTREMELY MOLDY BREAD

You can smell the sharp, acidic, mushroomy smell from here.

PLASTIC GAS HOSE

Looks like the hose that connects a gas tank to a patient.



CURRENTLY IN STORAGE:



PURPLE BOOK

Found in Lacey's boarding room.


HAIRBALL

Found in Lacey's biovessel in the possession of a giant, white blood cell who was also a British bobby for no reason. Sometimes you really hate this place.


BIOHAZARD KEY:

Found in Jay's room. It has a red tag with a biohazard sign. Reminds you of someone.


EXTENSION CORD:

Already successfully used in your, er, brilliant doctor trap. Quite long and strong, and maybe you could power something with it if you found an outlet.


BLENDER

Of everything you found in the utility closet, this is probably the thing you most of all hope isn't in the maternity ward's closet for any kind of reason.

DR. P'S REGURG-I-SYRUP

It has an awful lot of ominous warnings on it.

VIBRIO VULNIFICUS

This both looks and smells like if you could churn halitosis into cottage cheese. You're getting a powerful vibe, for some reason, that it will make a dolphin especially sick.


ANIMAL FLUID

A cup of dense, red sludge with some meaty hunks floating in it.