INVENTORY AS OF PAGE 744

FERN'S ITEMS (8/10 SLOTS)

KIDNEY SWORD:

A broken scrap of wood, coated in the mineral deposits of the monstrous Mother Kidney Stone. It enables the SLASH command.


BABY KIDNEY STONE:

One of the Mother Kidney Stone's offspring. It can inflict a single damage per turn to opponents.


"GET WELL" CUPCAKE:

Awarded for Fern's first act of kindness in the hospital. It may be pretty potent.


RAMBLIN' EVIL COLORECTAL POLYP:

A wandering monster who decided to take up space in your inventory. After it warmed up to you, it started to help out in battle by analyzing enemy stats.


ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT:

A little being Dr. Man left with you. Doesn't talk much, apparently blocks "malady damage" during battle.


"IN ORDER" NOTE:

Will this put something "in order?" It probably works only on doors.


DANGEROUS APPLE

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? If it comes down to it, you might have to find out.


WRONG WAY SIGN

It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...

+CURRENTLY WEARING: BIG RUBBER GLOVES

You feel good with these on. Kind of...generally more confident.

+CURRENTLY WEARING: STAFF PIN

Unlike Tori's ID card, this doesn't feel like it's trying to suck out your soul and replace it with hot spaghetti. It seems to fool the doctors into thinking you're a staffer, quite possibly of the lowest order.

WILLIS'S ITEMS (3/10 SLOTS)

BLACKLIGHT:

Reveals hidden stains, damaging all combatants once per battle.


SHPOOMF

A "snack" of some sort, retrieved by Willis from a vending machine. He seems to know what it is, at least.


GRULTCH:

A "snack" of some sort, retrieved by Willis from a vending machine. He seems to know what it is, at least.




CURRENTLY IN STORAGE:



PURPLE BOOK

Found in Lacey's boarding room.


HAIRBALL

Found in Lacey's biovessel in the possession of a giant, white blood cell who was also a British bobby for no reason. Sometimes you really hate this place.


BIOHAZARD KEY:

Found in Jay's room. It has a red tag with a biohazard sign. Reminds you of someone.


EXTENSION CORD:

Already successfully used in your, er, brilliant doctor trap. Quite long and strong, and maybe you could power something with it if you found an outlet.