Chip's Tips I

FERN:

Okay, can I just ask if-


CHIP:

N-no p-p-problem! Already interfaced your b-buzzer matrix and extrapolized your p-p-possible queries!

Full d-data access is still recompilinating from my p-p-predecessor but here's everything I can c-currently answer:

1: The m-maternity ward appears to be the hospital's m-most unstable subsector, p-possibly the origin point of p-present anomalies. All my t-t-terminals within its b-boundaries are unresponsive. According to my files a D-doctor Gynnie oversees the ward and is still functional on some l-level.

2: the ward's p-password is k-kept in a single hard copy s-somewhere among Phage's personal files. I appear to have on file an encryption key marked "HMPTE" which m-may be his p-personal cipher.

3: Unfortunately all m-maps I have on file are inconsistent with the hospital's c-current layout.

4: It's likely Phage keeps a k-key for locked p-patient files in his office. If not Phage, than p-possibly another d-d-doctor.

5: I c-currently detect a number of active patients between zero and four with b-biosignatures notably similar to your own.

6: B-buzzers are ambiguous entities by n-nature. Whatever you int-t-terpret them as is as correct as any other interpret-t-tation.

7: Any data files I should have on you, the d-doctors, and our most recent p-patients are unf-f-fortunately degraded, or perhaps delibrately corrupted. I can attempt to recons-t-truct it but it may require significant l-layer travel.

8: Staff M-member Gardenia was rec-c-covered and returned to f-f-function. It would s-s-seem you prevented that J-Jay fellow from returning to the scene and b-burying the remains.

9: I should be able to communicate with you through any functional m-monitors and terminals, including your own examination r-room.

10: It appears that an unid-d-dentifiable entity emerged from the organ b-bank some l-layers ago. These entities appear sc-scrambled to my sensory equipment.

11: I've s-severed any connection my current form had with the c-cafe and d-don't know how my rep-p-placement is f-faring. As long as it's h-him and not me I kn-know all I care to.

12: All other p-patients you would have enc-c-countered appear to be st-stable. The surgical l-lobby has cleared out as its c-c-customers have retired to their rooms for the next c-cycle.

13: Doctor Ph-phage has been holed up in his office for extended layers, emerging only p-p-periodically. It may be possible to lure him out and distra-ra-ract him with s-something. I would advise extre-treme caution; he has had multiple p-patients purged since your arrival for s-suspect behavior.

14: P-purging and unexisting are v-very different p-processes, but both are considered quite r-radical decisions. A p-purge expels all n-nonessential layers from your existosphere. In your own t-t-terminology and perception this would set you "back in time" to before you were s-sick. It's t-typically reserved for extreme c-cases, not unlike the amputation of an app-p-pendage. If it f-fails to rid you of your condition you will inevitably find yourself here once ag-g-gain, but your m-memories would never recover.

Your b-buzzers are p-probably now wondering if you have been purged before. This does not app-p-pear to be the case as of y-yet.

15: The upper m-medical staff appear to have generally ignored the presence of a c-computoid in their p-personal perceptospheres. Whether this is due to my p-predecessor's hostility toward them or a contribut-t-ting factor in the development of that hostility is n-not currently clear, but you b-basically have my entire s-system to your-s-s-self. I have to say it's quite nice to go so un-n-noticed. Is this what it n-normally feels like to not serve c-c-customers as your definitive existofunction?! W-w-wild!

16: The c-context is ambiguous but an "URGENT!" system file c-currently reads "thank you for putting up with another highly experimental story arc that took several times longer than I ever planned. My whole life changed drastically during this past year in multiple ways and I'm really not sure how I even managed to keep the series going as often as I did, but I have a lot of fun things planned from here on out." Weird! I read the wh-whole thing without st-st-stuttering!

...Anyway, I'll k-keep scanning data for anything you m-might find useful. Otherwise I'll be enjoying my p-peace and quiet while my m-mental capacity expands. Even c-caffeine never felt this g-good.


FERN:

That's...a lot to process at once, but thanks.






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