Psycho Dream
  Psycho Dream has a great deal in common with Majyuuou. It's a japan-only SNES title, a simplistic action side-scroller, it pits transforming heroes against freakish demons in a futuristic/modern setting to rescue a japanese schoolgirl, and I don't know a damn thing about its storyline. As swell a game as Majyuuou is, however, Psycho Dream is a bit more fun, the good guys are MUCH cooler, and most importantly, it has a slightly wider variety of monsters and all of them are weird. The game is just swarming with embryonic mutants, crawling fungi, slimy parasites and loads of other things that bring joy into my life.

   Unfortunately, Psycho Dream's music - ALL of it - is just plain painful. It's best described as romantic elevator music attempting to fit into a horror film's chase sequence and failing miserably.

   Just put on some Oingo Boingo or something if you ever play this thing. I recommend "Insanity".
The Heroes
  What's not to love about a game where you can play as either a red-hooded renaissance swordsman or a bondage mistress? If you don't think that's enough variety, something is wrong with you.
...I...HAVE....
...THE POWWERRR!
By the power of Grayskull...
  The swordsman is "Ryo Shizima", who manages to look like a nancy-boy and a badass at the same time. He can upgrade from a sword to scythelike blades on his elbows and knees, which can upgrade to a larger size. If he then picks up a red crystal, he becomes a fully armored (or is it fully mechanized?) musketeer with both blades and spreading energy shots that ricochet off walls until they kill something..
  "Maria Tobari" is the freaky dominatrix. She can upgrade her whip to a set of metal claws, then transform into a giant fairy that fires homing orbs in every direction at once. With wings, she can also drift slowly to the ground after a jump.
The Enemies (info on mouseover)
Big, mean birds with some sort of tumorous alien growth. These hanging sacs drop yellow eggs that burst into flame. These hanging sacs drop yellow eggs that burst into flame. One screen is covered in these silken pupa, which hatch into more bees.
Big, mean birds with some sort of tumorous alien growth.
Big, mean birds with some sort of tumorous alien growth.
Speedy, hopping worms that usually come in groups Giant bees that fire their stingers Giant bees that fire their stingers
Speedy, hopping worms that usually come in groups
Big, mean birds with some sort of tumorous alien growth.
Spiny pods that grow along the floors and ceilings of the sewer.
The birds can curl up into invincible bouncing balls
Little red slimes are the game's most common enemy Spiny pods that fall from the sky and cling to walls in the first stage
Little red slimes are the game's most common enemy Rolling blobs hatch from the spiny pods when you walk under them. Teeny little mutant mouse. Not very dangerous, and very rarely encountered.
Little red slimes are the game's most common enemy
Little red slimes are the game's most common enemy
This is what you see, very briefly, when you shoot one of the egg things!
Immobile, one-eyed egg pods. They do absolutely nothing, but I love them.
Immobile, one-eyed egg pods. They do absolutely nothing, but I love them. Immobile, one-eyed egg pods. They do absolutely nothing, but I love them.
...And then they spontaneously crumble and fling their heads at you. BAHAHAHA.
...Then they hatch and run in place for a while.... ...Then they hatch and run in place for a while.... ...Then they hatch and run in place for a while.... ...Then they hatch and run in place for a while....
MUTANT FETUSES!!! First they float through the air, invulnerable to damage......
Immobile, beam-shooting eyeballs. I love eyeball enemies. Immobile, beam-shooting eyeballs. I love eyeball enemies. Immobile, beam-shooting eyeballs. I love eyeball enemies. (It's blinking)
Strange flying worms in the subway level. They just float straight forward, wriggling.
Hopping, baby bird/blob hybrids. They aren't animated, and are rarely encountered.
Tiny worms that blow in the air of one stage, hidden amongst blowing flower petals.
Cool insect/fish/embryo things encountered in a stage where you can't stop running.
These plants spring up from the ground and shoot at you.
Adorable prehistoric-looking fish people. They just stand in place, hop up and spit. Cool insect/fish/embryo things encountered in a stage where you can't stop running.
Adorable prehistoric-looking fish people. They just stand in place, hop up and spit. Adorable prehistoric-looking fish people. They just stand in place, hop up and spit.
One-eyed, plantlike flying things that attack you in the waterfall substage.
Adorable prehistoric-looking fish people. They just stand in place, hop up and spit.
Adorable prehistoric-looking fish people. They just stand in place, hop up and spit.
One-eyed, plantlike flying things that attack you in the waterfall substage.
These plants spring up from the ground and shoot at you. Cool insect/fish/embryo things encountered in a stage where you can't stop running.
These plants spring up from the ground and shoot at you.
The only mechanical enemies. These little floating robots don't do much at all. One-eyed, plantlike flying things that attack you in the waterfall substage.
I love these, too. Immobile moths(?) on stems, they grow in clusters in the running stage. I love these, too. Immobile moths(?) on stems, they grow in clusters in the running stage. I love these, too. Immobile moths(?) on stems, they grow in clusters in the running stage.
Great-looking pink mutants that float lazily throughout the running level, blowing deadly bubbles!
Great-looking pink mutants that float lazily throughout the running level, blowing deadly bubbles!
They attack with either a yellow beam or by dropping globs of themselves. Ewww.
Aww, he's all tired and limp.
These floating....things....are the only enemies in the final stage. These floating....things....are the only enemies in the final stage.
BOSSES
  The game's bosses are certainly off to a good start with this undulating, tumorous phantom at the end of the first stage. Nearly invisible, (see screenshot at top) It attacks with its two main tentacles and a generic energy attack while additional tentacles crash through the background.
  Okay, I know what you're thinking, and...I'm afraid I don't really have an excuse for this.

...It's a BAT, okay!? It's a giant, mutated bat hanging by its coily tail from a girder in the ceiling. It can...kinda...shoot its neck out to ram you with its head...which can generate exploding fireballs from its...tip...

...It's a BAT, okay!?!? Jeez!
  In the third stage, you finally come upon the girl you're supposed to rescue (all I know is that her name is Sayaka. I have no idea what's so important about her) all walled up in an icky purple pod. Touching the pod damages you, but attacking it brings forth the level boss; a giant luna moth who's pretty rainbow feelers launch a devastating electrical bolt attack. When the moth is down, the girl is freed, but she floats away....
  Stage four features a park of blooming trees, a waterfall, and flower petals constantly blowing in the wind. Spring is in the air, and so is a cicada the size of a rhinoceros. You have to attack the immobile shell until the adult breaks free. It mostly fights by flying a short distance and charging, but can also extend a pair of feelers into the ground to generate a wave of flames.
  The fifth stage is one of those levels where your character is running at top speed and cannot slow down or stop. As any biologist will tell you, this sort of behavior is highly offensive to Cnidarians such as corals, anemones and jellyfish, but luckily there's nothing they could do about it unless they were able to fly and spit big clouds of toxic bubbles.
  Like I said, the final boss is fairly boring. He takes up two screens, but only his arms are initially mobile. Once they're both destroyed, he sprouts two rather unimpressive tentacles and sends his head sluggishly floating after you to be easily destroyed at your liesure. When finally dead, the screen darkens and Sayaka is released once and for all. She rushes to embrace you (regardless of which character you're playing) and the scene fades to credits just before she gets there. Pretty much what I expected...these games never have real endings.
  A parade can be seen far off in the background during the final boss fight, but these are the only floats. Tokyo land is renowned the world over for its snails, you know.
 

 

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