Worst Pirate Ever

AHOY! Check out this 99 cent "pirate playset" available from Dollar Tree. Nothing particularly weird at first glance, but take a closer look at the so-called "pirate" figure:

No, this is not just a factory mishap. Every single one of this particular playset included the same malphormed alien blob of a pirate captain, and the hilarity doesn't end there!

Both of the included weapons are larger than the pirate himself. They're still about the length of a human thumb, so who or what is actually meant to use these?

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