DAY SEVENTEEN, SCP 1846:
The Maize Angel
(READ IT HERE!)


Not nearly as glamorous as its title implies, SCP 1846 is a humanoid completely covered in corn, who only needs corn to survive and can make any corn grow bigger, tastier and more nutritious just by touching it. He also starts floating up into the sky, against his own volition, any time he isn't shielded under concrete or glass.

This is because 1846 is an angel serving under what is, according to him, the only actual god; a corn god named Srqnabotf.

Srqnabotf intends to end the world - or something - as soon as all of its angels have been called back to corn heaven, and 1846 is the last one remaining on Earth. This means that this ridiculous corn man is one of those SCP's that will immediately destroy us all if it ever breaches containment, but luckily, he's in no hurry to do so. In fact, he's happy to inform us that his god has less understanding of the world than a small child, and the only reason concrete or glass act as an effective barrier is because Srqnabotf confuses them with sand and only tries to "blow on them" to clear them away.

Unfortunately, we're also told that corn is really, truly the only thing the one true god cares about, and your afterlife is determined exclusively by how much corn you've eaten or grown while you were alive. This would make most people in the modern world relatively safe, since corn syrup and corn filler is in basically everything, but anyone who's never consumed any corn at all - even the billions who couldn't have helped it due to geological location - is apparently tortured forever by popcorn multiplying inside them.

This is another of those SCP's that are just funny at first, but in retrospect, might actually be one of the darkest. God exists, apparently, but God is also a petty infant that doesn't care about anyone or anything but corn. He doesn't care if you're good or evil, or even how you feel about him, or even how you feel about corn as long as corn has passed through your digestive system.

FINAL RATING: