Written by Jonathan Wojcik
31 More Favorite Trashies
Yes, you're getting three damn Trash Pack posts this season. The entire Junk Germs line, the Gross Zombies re-release and now a direct sequel to last year's one, because boy are there ever a lot of these guys that I like, even if it doesn't take long for them to all start blending together and kind of looking alike. Don't worry, this is the last one, honest!
Despite their ubiquitousness world-wide, I don't think that many kids know what a silverfish is, so I'm sure there are people confused about this one's name, and for the longest time, the official website even mistyped it as "SQUID Fish." Are you a mollusk, a vertebrate or an insect? Make up your mind.
I'm really glad a silverfish toy exists, though. I can't think of any others out there, again, despite how common they are. You probably have some in your house and may never know it at all. I do wish this figure actually came in grey, though; instead there's only a red, green and I think yellow one. If it actually came in silver, people might even guess what it was supposed to be at a glance.
Is this a play on "Tutti Fruity?" It's not a very natural one. Are British people aware that we don't have the word "grot" in America? Anyway, this one was one of the "moldy" figures, which were covered in a fuzzy finish. It was the only one that actually made perfect sense that way, other than the rotten strawberry. I like the idea of a big heap of moldy fruit as a monster, and Grotty seems to feel the same way. I love how some Trashies look completely horrified to exist and others are just pleased as punch about it. I suppose there's also the fact that Grotty may be perpetually drunk off his own fermentation. I'm gonna just pretend he has the same voice as Barney Gumble.
This little guy only showed up in series II, so you can see how quickly they diverged from "things you find in garbage." Who's throwing out aliens? I guess it could be an alien creature that feeds on rotten matter and toxic waste, so it may have been attracted by Earth's pollution, like a more innocuous Hedorah.
We saw Kruddy Kennel in "zombie" form earlier, and here's his official art. Look at how defeated this sapient doghouse is. It's completely resigned to the misery of having a dog sleeping in its mouth, which is also its entire body cavity. Or is the dog actually a permanent part of Kruddy Kennel? Maybe it died in there, and they became one as they transformed into whatever the hell a Trashy is actually supposed to be.
You might not think so, but "Feral Fridge" is easily one of the most frightening trashies. I mean, we know from its name that it's "feral," so we know it's no longer accustomed to the company of humans and has returned to the primal instincts of its wild, predatory ancestors. There's also the fact that discarded old refrigerators in public garbage dumps used to kill people.
I appreciate that when it came to making a "ghoulash" monster, they actually made an effort to make it ghoulish. it really looks more like the half-melted remains of a human corpse than a pile of food, and the eyeball missing from its lopsided, sagging face is a nicely unique feature among its buddies. More than anything, it looks like a Dorotabou, the one-eyed Japanese mud ghost. It even comes in brown!
You would expect the vacuum hose to be this thing's "mouth," but instead, it's more like an elephant's trunk dripping with snot. A vacuum is a fun thing to turn into a garbage monster, and I'm surprised by how few trashies are based on cleaning supplies gone wrong. For that matter, you would expect there to be some fully-functioning cleaning supplies as "villains," though I guess the Trash Pack isn't a toy line that aims to have a storyline or conflict.
This is another one we saw in the Gross Zombies post, and it's a great choice for a character basis. A robot dinosaur made of junk is a great way to fit an original "monster" into the theme, especially since I'm pretty sure that has actually existed as some sort of performance art or something, hasn't it? Wasn't there a big robot dinosaur made of scrapped cars that toured Monster Truck shows?
One of the "Bin-Fections" from series one, which basically inspired the Junk Germs, Chiky Pox isn't as morbid as Flesh-Eating Virus or Moo Cow Disease, but I'm delighted by the whole idea of a huge, gelatinous "germ" with a ghastly bug-eyed chicken face on it. Chicken Pox is a virus, so it shouldn't really be looking like a big bacterium or ciliated protozoan, but then again, maybe the Bin-Fections are just slimy creatures made of viral bodies, or who live in symbiosis with viruses like parasitoid wasps do. You will never defeat the awesome triviality of the things I devote millions of neurons to speculate upon.
I'm glad they decided Filthy Fan should have three eyes, one on each blade. Most Trashies are things that shouldn't have eyes at all, so it's not like there's any real reason to limit them to a human-like number. It's also just really fun to picture a being with three eyeballs constantly whirling around each other, especially while it's blowing a continuous stream of "filth" your way and smiling about it.
It's almost upsetting how unhappy this rolled-up living rug appears to be. Dusty Rug clearly suffers serious dust-related allergies it can never escape from without cleaning itself thoroughly, and I'm pretty sure if a Trashie were "cleaned" it could no longer qualify as a Trashie, so I'm going to presume it would cease to exist in its sapient, ambulatory form. What makes Dusty even more noteworthy however is that this is one of the Series Three "biter" trashies, with gaping mouths you can clamp onto things. The actual figure even has big, white teeth. Is Dusty just so tormented he has to freakin bite people as an outlet? Why give this gimmick to a rug, of all things? Why a carpet that can eat you? This isn't Soviet Russia!
A hermit crab with a garbage can for a shell is actually another one Slime Beast came up with before they "coincidentally" came out with the same thing, though his had a sea urchin clinging to the top instead of a starfish, so massive difference. I suppose this one really could just be serendipitous, though. If I were tasked with making garbage-themed "beach" characters I'd have probably put a crab in a trash can as well, though another good option would have been a nautilus or sea snail.
Is "sewerage" another U.K. colloquialism? More than one Trashie uses it in their name. There have been a couple different Pizza creatures now, but this one is the coolest, being more like a disgusting bivalve with a cardboard box for a shell and facial features just kind of floating in its rancid membranes of cheese. I'm not sure if it needed the shoes or not, I think a pizza box clam with floating eyeballs was kind of enough, but whatever.
See, Queasy Cheesy doesn't need any shoes, or feet, or even any appendages at all to be a Trashie. This is just a hunk of disgusting, worm-ridden moldy cheese that grew some eyeballs and a mouth. I like that. It's actually kind of a little creepier than many of the ones that mutate into full-blown anthropomorphs, and I appreciate that deranged look in Queasy's eyes, too.
This beach trashie is pretty simple - just a blowfish - but I'm glad it's very explicitly a dead, decomposing blowfish that washed ashore. A lot of animal-based Trashies are just actual, living animals that have nothing to do with garbage, and would often make a lot more sense if they were obviously deceased, which is accomplished here by a hideously dangling eyeball. Scruffer doesn't even look like an "animate" fish corpse, like maybe he's just a regular-dead fish but Trashies don't even know the difference between one of their own and just any rotting carcass lying around so they named this one Scrufferfish and talk to it and don't even care or comprehend that it's not talking back.
CRUDDY COW SKULL:
Series one featured a hilarious maggot-ridden human skull (in somebody's trash) and that's pretty tough to beat, but Cruddy is pretty cool looking, and it's one of the "limited edition" figures worth like a couple hundred dollars if you actually find one. In this series, the limited edition "bone trash" were made of hard plastic, so Cruddy enjoys the bonus action feature of being able to seriously hurt someone if left in the middle of a floor at night.
The sixth series featured some "rotten egg" trashies suspended in green rubber eggs, which is a really fun idea, but few of them really made any sense. A fully grown fly? Why not a maggot? Sickly Slug is basically the only one of these that I like. It's at least an organism that you would actually find in an egg in this particular level of development, and kind of accidentally looks like a pink embryo to boot.
DOO DOO DIAPER:
You know, maybe this was a bad idea. I could have gone my whole life without ever typing the words "doo doo diaper." I only wanted to show you how disgusting and horrible this turd-filled cartoon monster is. Like this is the first Trashie to almost make me want to gag a little if I think too hard about how it looks like it's about to throw up from being stuffed full of child feces. That is the second worst thing I have thought about all day. The first worst thing is that the kind of person who would google the phrase "doo doo diaper" in quotations is now going to end up on my website and I don't know if I can handle that.
SOFT BOILED SLOTH:
The inclusion of a sloth in the Trash Pack is kind of accidentally brilliant, because on one hand, sloths aren't attracted to or found in garbage, but on the other hand, they live in symbiosis with algae, fungi and insects reproducing in their fur, so they're naturally one of the most Trashie-like animals to actually exist. Almost every Trash Pack character has bugs, maggots and slime on it, but that's actually true of everyone's beloved cuddly-wuddly sloths.
There are a lot of dead fish trashies, which makes sense, since they're one of the obligatory elements of cartoon garbage, and Stale Scales is possibly the most entertainingly horrid looking of them all. It looks like it's been rotting and festering in the hot sun for hours, dragging itself mindlessly in search of water.
Included with a Toxic Waste Drum mini-playset, I'm surprised there aren't more "mutated animal" Trashies; it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Weirdly deformed, glowing animals and plants could carry a series all on their own. Really, the sky's the limit for new Trash Pack series, as long as they use their heads. I'm glad one of the few mutants we do have, at least, is a three-eyed ant. THEM! was one of the very first (or was it the first?) movies ever made where radiation caused insects to grow gargantuan. Ants started that entire cliche.
FISH AND SLOPS:
One more fish corpse, and then I'm done with them, I swear. There's even like seven or eight more of them in the series, but I'll stop with the dead fish now. I'll show restraint because I am an adult, I dress myself and everything. I'm not wearing pants while I write this, though. Why should I?
Fish and Slops is uniquely hilarious for the empty-headed look on its face as it happily throws up green bile and fries all over itself, like it wants to be eaten, like it's throwing those up for you. And you're going to just sit there and not even eat it?
Kids aren't dumb, Trash Pack. I think a lot of them understand what a "trilobite" is. Especially when it's embedded in a chunk of fossil rock and everything. This is one of the few figures I really like from the "Rotten Eggs" or "Prehistoric Trash" series. They were just kind of reaching with most of them. Prehistoric animals don't have a lot to do with "garbage" unless you're inclined to think of fossils as some sort of geological refuse. Otherwise, I find it difficult to believe that anybody ever threw away such an exquisitely preserved trilobite.
See, even by Trash Pack standards, a dinosaur that's also a toilet is kind of desperate. Still, it's a dinosaur that's also a toilet, which can't really go wrong. Why haven't I even seen that combination before? Isn't it just obvious? Toilets were made to eventually be dinosaurs. And dinosaurs were made to eventually be toilets. I'm sure that's somewhere in The Bible, or something. Or was it from science? Did science say that?? I think science said it.
This nasty discarded lunch box has one of the most unusual and inventive faces in the franchise, with an apple for one eye and a sandwich for a mouth. I wonder if Yuck Box can even manipulate the food items as facial features or they're just kind of lying there and Yuck Box is actually just a lunchbox that happens to have grown one eyeball in its interior. That's pretty damn weird.
Like dead fish, it makes sense for Trash Pack to have a lot of flies. Series one gave us a blowfly named, well, Blow Fly, and series three gives us both Grotty Botfly and "Feral" Fly, who's actually clearly meant to be a fruit fly. There's even a banana peel stuck to it; either the best friend or arch nemesis of Grotty Fruity. I'm glad they've been so specific with their Diptera. Did you know when male fruit flies are rejected too many times by potential mates, they look for fermented fruit and get drunk?
We've included most of the "Bone Trash" now, and this is probably the nastiest, with all that pink and green, decomposed tissue still clinging inside its rib cage. Who even cooked a whole chicken or turkey with its head and feet, and left the feet intact? And the eyeballs? Or did it grow eyeballs the way all the other Trashies do? If those are "Trashie" eyes and not its original bird eyes, I wonder what made them grow in the natural place for a bird's eyes to be. These are important questions.
An octopus with filthy socks is a really silly, really cute idea for this line, and it's even sillier and cuter that they also decided it should be one of the cars. Why is a car also an octopus with socks? It even looks kind of terrified to be a car. Sock-to-pus did NOT sign up for this.
Interestingly, I did these back when the first series was still new, and they've since made real equivalents to just about all of them, but a rat skeleton in a mousetrap with one remaining eyeball is another rather specific one. Course, it only looks this way in a collectible card; the actual figure is only the rat's skull, and the hunk of cheese. Ah well.
There seems to be no better artwork available of this guy, just packaging art stained by the Moose Toys logo. The figure, in person, doesn't look too great either, but I still love the concept we're seeing here. The one eyeball dangling out of it is what really makes the whole thing, it's so grotesque for something that's just a wooden box, kind of implying there's something even weirder inside. It's such a small feature, but makes Busted Crate feel like so much more.
There's finally a leech in the Trash Pack, and it's part of the "Parasite Patrol" set in the Trash Wheels line. It definitely has some of the more terrifying fangs of a Trash Pack character, and the notion of a gigantic leech with wheels tearing down the street is wonderfully nightmarish. Obviously this is kind of what I'd be obligated to drive if I could, though surprisingly enough, this isn't my favorite of the "parasite patrol."
Between the name, the "parasite" categorization and the red coloration of the default art, I can only conclude that Fanging Maggot is a bot fly larva. It's certainy fat enough, and they already have an adult bot fly in the series. Did you know some bot fly maggots are red because they're among those few insect larvae with red hemoglobin? How cool is that? Those tend to be the species that live in the intestinal tracts of large mammals, especially horses. I'm going to say Fanging Maggot is a humongous horse botfly which for some reason has wheels and a combustion engine, "some reason" probably being that a parallel version of me works as a mechanic in this universe.
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