It's Time to Move On
Written by Jonathan Wojcik
So I was all set to kick off my 2012 Halloween posts, when I came to the sobering realization that this would make my tenth year writing feverishly about a children's holiday, even with a college education, a relationship and real, live friends to focus on. Though it feels like only yesterday that I was a wide-eyed child, I turn twenty-nine years old this Halloween - nearly middle aged - and there's something more than a little disquieting when I realize that I've played with rubber toys on the internet for nearly a third of my time on this planet.
Having failed to make a reliable, adult living for myself, it's all too fitting that my childish hobbies are currently packed away in dusty boxes, waiting for a new home that I'm realizing may never fully accommodate them.
I've grown up a lot since I started my website, both physically and mentally, faster than I ever took the time to realize. Old habits die hard, but Bogleech has had a good run, and I've spent enough of my fleeting, mortal existence rambling to an unseen internet audience about children's playthings and ugly animals. I'm a grown man, and I'm long overdue to start thinking like it.
You may as well run off and google your flutterpies or whatever it is you adult babies are doing with yourselves these days. As for me, I've got important things in life to take care of. Grown up things, like you wouldn't understand.
Things like Coffee breaks and politics, and bake sales and mortgages.
Things like pressed suits and pornography, and drunk driving and getting refunds from dollar stores, and chocolate college educations and pumpkin gun racks. And chocolate pumpkin sports illustrated and pumpkin reeses tits, and blood donations and prostate exams and chocolate pumpkin reeses pancreatic cancer, and pumpkin chocolate pumpkin reeses chocolate pumpkin gas gangrene pumpkin pumpkin.
reeses reeses pumpkins reeses peanut butter chocolate, reeses chocolate, reeses reeses chocolate peanut butter pumpkins reeses pumpkins, peanut pumpkins chocolate butter chocolate reeses butter pumpkin
peanut chocolate butter butter reeses peanut butter reeses butter re;aesses reee bepeanu cutter candapeeses reeses reeses reeses reeses bile pus death ree;see;sees rreee butt;slder blood vomit reeses murder murder reeses peanut butter pumpkins peanut peanut
peanut reeses reeses butter chocolate chocolate peanut butter reeses chocolate candy chocolate peanut butter cups
blood scab chocolate reeses RECTAL PROLAPSE
DEATH BLOOD PUS SKULLS
NECROTIZING FETUS BUTTPUKE
LETS PLAY CAT LUNGS
BONUS QUESTION: WHO IS THAT PEKEMEUNS???
A: IT WAS SWALOTS!!!
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