GHASTLY MACARONI!!!
HELLO MY NAME IS CREEEEEEEEEEEPY! DID I SCARE YOU?! IT WAS A
TRICK!!! MY MOMMY WAS A CREEPY CRAWLERS THING MAKER OVEN. I
TELL THE MOST CREEPY STORYS IN THE WORLD! BE CAREFUL IF YOU
READ MY STORIES BECAUSE THEY WILL SCARE YOU FOREVER!
DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD
THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN
WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM
EVERYWHERE. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS
WENT CRAZY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES. WHEN HE WENT
TO THE STORE PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN ALL THE BLOOD AND THEY
LOOKED AT IT AND THREW UP. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A
DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND
HIM TO SPACE FOREVER.....THE SCARYEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS
YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT
THIS HAPPENED.
THE GIANT GORILLA ON FIRE
ONE TIME THERE WERE ALL THESE COOL GUYS STANDING AROUND WITH
THEIR HANDS IN THEIR POCKETS AND THEIR BIG ZIPPERS LOOKING
AROUND WITH THEIR
RAD SPECS AND NOT BEING CAREFUL.

JUST THEN A BUS PULLED UP AND WAS THE BLACKEST MOST EVIL BUS
THE COOL GUYS HAD EVER SEEN AND THEY HAD SEEN SOME REALLY
EVIL BUSES IN THEIR TIME ON THE STREETS. THE BUS OPENED ITS
BLACK EVIL DOOR AND A GIANT GORILLA ON FIRE STEPPED OUT OF IT. HE
WAS PUNCHING ALL THE COOL GUYS WITH HIS BIG GORILLA FISTS THAT
WERE ON FIRE AT THE SAME TIME. THE COOL GUYS GOT PUNCHED AND
BURNED REAL BAD BUT THE DIFFERENT GUY WAS OK. LET THIS BE A
LESSON TO EVERYONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE TOO COOL TO EVEN BE
CAREFUL!
THE UGLYEST MONSTER
ONE TIME THERE WERE ALL OF THESE BAD LADYS AROUND WHO WOULD
GO BE DIRTY ALL THE TIME. THEN ONE DAY THIS AWESOME DUDE CAME
UP TO THEM AND TOLD THEM TO MARRY HIM. HE WAS SO AWESOME WITH
HIS
RAD SPECS AND DINOSAURS SKATEBOARD THAT THEY ALL MARRIED
HIM. BUT THEN HE GOT HIS RAD SPECS KNOCKED OFF AND THEY FOUND
OUT HE WAS THE UGLIEST MONSTER EVER. MORE UGLIER THAN AN OLD
BROWN SHOE WITH ROTTEN THROWUP ALL OVER IT AND PART OF A
FROG INSIDE. ALL OF THE LADYS HAD TO LIVE WITH HIM IN A GROSS
HOUSE AND THEY HAD UGLY BABYS FOREVER.
ALL THE FIREFIGHTERS DISAPPEAR
ONE DAY EVERY FIREFIGHTER IN THE WORLD DISAPPEARED. WHERE DID
THEY GO? NOBODY KNOWS! WITHOUT ANY FIREFIGHTERS EVERY HOUSE
GETS ON FIRE AND NOONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. EVERYONE ON
EARTH IS HOMELESS AND HAS TO RENT A BAD HOTEL. EVEN THE
PRESIDENT.

SECRET TWIST: THE HOTEL DID IT.
THE HEADLESS ALLIGATORS
GET EVERYONE
THIS IS A STORY WHERE EVERYONE THINKS THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS
HEADLESS ALLIGATORS! BUT ONE DAY SOMEONE OPENED A DOOR IN A
OLD HOUSE AND THE HEADLESS ALLIGATORS CAME OUT FOR REAL!
THEY WENT AROUND AND THEY ATTACKED SO MANY PEOPLE THAT
THERE WAS ALMOST NOBODY LEFT. THE SURVIVORS BUILT A FORT ON A
MOUNTAIN PROTECTED BY THE LONGEST MOAT BUT THE HEADLESS
ALLIGATORS WERE OUT THERE WAITING AND FOOD WAS RUNNING LOW.
THE PEOPLE TRIED TO MAKE A PLANE THAT COULD SAVE THEM BUT IN
THE END IT TURNED OUT THAT THE PILOT WAS A HEADLESS ALLIGATOR
THE WHOLE TIME. ALSO HE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO FLY A PLANE.
BAD GUYS UNDERWATER
ONE DAY THERE WAS A COUPLE OF SCUBA DIVERS WHO SAW A SIGN
THAT SAID "NO SCUBA DIVING" AND THEY HAD SUCH POOR PARENTAGE
THAT THEY DIDNT EVEN LOOK AT IT. JUST WHEN THEY WERE HAVING A
GOOD TIME SCUBA DIVING THEY FOUND THE SECRET PLACE THAT MAKES
ALL OF THE BAD GUYS. WHEN THEY SAW THE BAD GUYS COMING OUT OF
IT AND LOOKING AROUND THEY GOT SO AFRAID THAT THEY NEVER
SCUBA DIVED AGAIN. HOWEVER YEARS LATER SOME OF THE BAD GUYS
FOUND THEM AND BROKE SOME OF THEIR THINGS.
THE DEAD SKULL
I BET YOU THINK THAT ALL OF THESE STORIES ARE PRETEND BUT GUESS
WHAT THIS ONE IS FOR REAL! HOW DO I KNOW? WELL I KNOW BECAUSE I
AM LOOKING AT YOU AND I KNOW ALL OF YOUR SECRETS! I EVEN KNOW
YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL. ONE DAY I LOOKED AT YOU IN THE BATH ROOM.
MAYBE I WILL BREAK SOMETHING AND TELL EVERYBODY IT WAS YOU.

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME. BUT GUESS WHAT?

I AM A DEAD SKULL!!!
THE KILLER SPIKES
ONE DAY YOU WILL GET A WEIRD BIG LETTER THAT SAYS IT IS FROM YOU!
IT WILL BE A LITTLE WET AND HAVE A STAMP OF THE BLACKEST MOST
GROSSEST HEADLESS EVIL DOG YOU EVER SAW. IF YOU OPEN THE
LETTER YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU HAVE BEEN MAILED SPIKES AND
YOU WILL DIE ON THE SPIKES. HOWEVER IF YOU POST THIS IN FOUR
MESSAGE BOARDS THE LETTER WILL NOT HAVE SPIKES IN IT BUT IT WILL
HAVE SOME ALRIGHT FUDGE AND A BROWN RIBBON YOU CAN PUT ON
SOMETHING.
RAINING DEMONS
ONE DAY A SCIENTIST MADE A MACHINE THAT HE THOUGHT WILL TURN
RAIN INTO THE CURE FOR ALL GERMS BUT SOMETHING WENT TERRIBLY
WRONG! INSTEAD THE RAIN TURNED INTO DEMONS! DEMONS WERE
FALLING OUT OF THE SKY AND THEY WERE DEFEATING EVERYONE IN THE
WORLD WITH THEIR FULLY LEVELED SWORDS. EVEN THE BIGGEST MOST
POWERFUL BEAR WAS DEFEATENED.
YOU WERE THE FROGS
WARNING SPOILER TITLE. ONE DAY YOU WOKE UP AND THERE WAS LIKE
THIS FROG ON YOU. YOU WERE ALL STARTLED AND SAID "WUHH!!!" AS
YOU GENTLY PUT THE FROG OUTSIDE IN HORROR. THEN YOU TURNED
AROUND AND THERE WAS ANOTHER FROG LIKE SITTING ON A BOX IN
YOUR HOUSE. THEN YOU NOTICED THAT THERE WAS A FROG ON THE TV
AND ON THE FRIDGE AND ONE IN EACH OF YOUR SHOES AND ONE WAS
EVEN (WARNING NSFW) IN THE BATHROOM ON THE TOILET SEAT!!! YOU
RAN ALL AROUND HORRIFIED AND SCREAMING AND PUTTING THEM
OUTSIDE WHERE THEY BELONG WHEN FINALLY YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND REALIZE THAT THOSE FROGS WERE YOU AND NOW YOU ARE
COMPLETELY LOCKED OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!
WORST MOST BLOODY HORROR
DAY IN THE WORLD
THIS IS THE STORY OF THE WORST MOST BLOODY HORROR DAY IN THE
WORLD. 2 KIDS FOUND IT AND THEY NEVER GOT OUT ALIVE. ALL DAY
LONG THEY WERE GETTING STABBED BY GUYS LIKE IN SCREAM. ALL OF
THE SCREAM GUYS WERE COMING OUT OF CABINETS AND ROLLING
AROUND STABBING THE KIDS. THEY TRIED TO CALL THE POLICE BUT THE
POLICE WERE SCREAM GUYS TOO. THEN THEY OPENED UP A BOX THAT
THEY THINK WOULD HAVE SANDWICHES IN IT BUT THERE IS SO MANY
SCREAM GUYS COMING OUT THAT THE 2 KIDS DROWNED IN ALL THE
KNIFES. THEY WERE SO STABBED THAT THERE WAS NOT EVEN DUST
LEFT OF THESE KIDS!
DOUBLE HELL
ONE DAY SOME BAD KIDS WHO DID NOT LISTEN IN CHURCH GOT SOME
TERIT CARDS AND A WEEJY BOARD. THEY PLAYED WITH THE CARDS ALL
OVER THE BOARD WHILE USING THE BOARD AT THE SAME TIME AND
DOUBLE SATAN CAME OUT AND KILLED THEM WITH HIS ENERGY KICK
ATTACK! THE BAD KIDS HAD TO GO TO DOUBLE HELL WHERE THEY HAD
NOTHING TO EAT BUT PIZZA WITH SOME DIRT ON IT AND THEY COULD
ONLY WATCH THE SCARIEST MOST HORRIBLE R RATED MOVIES AND THE
ONLY CAT THEY WERE ALLOWED TO HAVE DID NOT LIKE BEING PETTED
AND THEY EVEN HAD TO TOUCH LADY BOOBS ALL DAY! THEY WERE SO
GROSSED OUT AND SCARED THAT THEY WANTED TO GO HOME BUT
GUESS WHAT YOU CAN NEVER GO HOME FROM DOUBLE HELL!
2 BEARS FOREVER
IF YOU DO NOT COPY THIS TEXT TO 8 & 1/2 PEOPLE THERE WILL BE 2
BEARS EVERY TIME U OPEN A DOOR FOREVER!!!
HAHAHA DID YOU GET SCARED OF MY STORYS? WELL GUESS WHAT THEY
ARE ONLY PRETEND! OR MAYBE THEY ARE NOT!!! I HOPE YOU HAD A
SCARY GOOD TIME AND YOU WILL COME BACK AND READ THE ONES YOU
LIKED ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!
From the author: this was originally a deeply-hidden joke page on bogleech, but now that
some of these have established themselves as legendary tales of terror (namely
The Dead
Skull
and The Day of All the Blood) I thought I should bring them out of hiding. If you find
this crap funny, you might like some of my
cracked articles or my comics or possibly not at
all because those are really quite different.
-
Jonathan Wojcik