Bogleech.com's 2013 Horror Write-off:
Submitted by Connor
Okay. It's been about three days since I was sucked into this portal. It's incredibly eldritch-y in here, and a creature named the Deflyler has latched onto my head. IT seems to be slowly melding with it, klalso. I may seem rather calm about this whole affair, but that's probably the toxins speaking. aT any rate,thIs letter's indtented to be an instrunction manual.
Step 1: DO NOT GO NEAR THE BAKERY
Step 2: It may not be immediately obvious which, but you'll know if you see the purple haze.
Step there: Donut cross thiese wiered poertals,s no mattder hoewe enticing as appwere
Step 10:34: Ifa mran in a het attempts to taelk to yrou, dot'n listen unrless hre also says
"Gerflamp ungeschausten rimtotem"
Step 5: Saying this phrase regains sanity somewhat, so there's that in addition to the fact that you can trust those who invoke it. When the one guy was doing the/ one thing he WON'T STOP doing all the time, it messes up that floo-p in my h`ead. I can'd foe the life of me remember what that floopy thing's called, but I'm not gonna hold together much lon=-gwer if that man dewoes ntods stop th.aahtr thing he dpes a/h the, the thiyng th5 man with wierd hat does se=amse to inv/olvea candl3s and purple flames. Ias'dm worried I CAN'T I CA'T I CAN'T gewt tihs trhough dthe proetl wihtuot geitntg gralbed. If he cauould hjust stop it I coullld;d;l' go home. I d--un't kwnow idf 54my fami#aly isdj aliieve still i gsut wan go sha=om plsa heldpg