A ?????? ATTACKS!
Music: King Croacus - Super Paper Mario
Music: King Croacus - Super Paper Mario
CHOOSE YOUR ACTION!
FERN (GASSED!!!)
WILLIS (L15) (ATK:0)
ISAAC (L14) (ATK:13)
RAMBLIN' EVIL COLORECTAL POLYP:
Wow, congrats on reaching level fifteen the last time you offed a dude! You no longer need an action to get my EXPERT analysis on enemies! Too bad I ain't got nothin' this time! What the hell is that...a Furler? Is that what that is? I'm pretty sure that's probably what that is but I can't say I'm an expert on anything that out-there. I could be wrong. Just saying. Maybe dangerously wrong. Who knows!!! Good luck!!!
Wow, congrats on reaching level fifteen the last time you offed a dude! You no longer need an action to get my EXPERT analysis on enemies! Too bad I ain't got nothin' this time! What the hell is that...a Furler? Is that what that is? I'm pretty sure that's probably what that is but I can't say I'm an expert on anything that out-there. I could be wrong. Just saying. Maybe dangerously wrong. Who knows!!! Good luck!!!
WILLIS:
EW! I hate it!! I feel...sicky...
EW! I hate it!! I feel...sicky...
FERN (GASSED!!!):
HEY!!! HEY!!!! hey. HEY!!!
....THIS AIN'T THE PLACE FOR NO PELICANS.
HEY!!! HEY!!!! hey. HEY!!!
....THIS AIN'T THE PLACE FOR NO PELICANS.
>FERN: FAZ. WILLIS: SHIELD FERN. ISAAC: DEFEND YOURSELF.
All damage to FERN and ISAAC is reduced to one this turn!
FERN USED FAZ!
A thrumming sound emanates from Fern, and a gonging sound emanates from the enemy.
AWWWW THIS SLAPS!!!! Aw MAN!!! BUDDY!!!!....GET A LOAD'A THIS!!!
A thrumming sound emanates from Fern, and a gonging sound emanates from the enemy.
AWWWW THIS SLAPS!!!! Aw MAN!!! BUDDY!!!!....GET A LOAD'A THIS!!!
??? USED WRITHELIGHTS
The room is awash with a glow that is somehow neither blue nor yellow but definitely not green. It gives the impression that it is crawling in and out of many fine holes that only metaphysically exist in every solid surface.
The room is awash with a glow that is somehow neither blue nor yellow but definitely not green. It gives the impression that it is crawling in and out of many fine holes that only metaphysically exist in every solid surface.
FERN LOSES 1 HEALTH
YOWZA! Hot potatahs!!! That ain't no ordinary...what was it again? A flounder?? Rock on. I get it. I GET STUFF!!! I'M COOL!!! LAUNDRY DAY ALREADY!!!
YOWZA! Hot potatahs!!! That ain't no ordinary...what was it again? A flounder?? Rock on. I get it. I GET STUFF!!! I'M COOL!!! LAUNDRY DAY ALREADY!!!
>FERN: BRANCH ACTION. WILLIS: SHIELD FERN. ISAAC: DEFEND YOURSELF.
All damage to FERN and ISAAC is reduced to one this turn!
FERN USED BRANCH ACTION!
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS...LOOK WHAT I CAN DO.
Fern's surroundings ripple and undulate, producing a melodious sound indicative of reality within the "green range." You didn't think that just meant the colors as we know them, did you?!
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS...LOOK WHAT I CAN DO.
Fern's surroundings ripple and undulate, producing a melodious sound indicative of reality within the "green range." You didn't think that just meant the colors as we know them, did you?!
??? USED SALIVARY FAN
Everyone present feels the sensation of an icy dampness. It reads as a cautious curiosity.
Everyone present feels the sensation of an icy dampness. It reads as a cautious curiosity.
FERN LOSES 1 HEALTH
Ahhhhh THERE we go! Knew you'd come around, man!!!
Ahhhhh THERE we go! Knew you'd come around, man!!!
>FERN: REQUEST GELS. WILLIS: SHIELD FERN. ISAAC: DEFEND YOURSELF.
All damage to FERN and ISAAC is reduced to one this turn!
FERN USED REQUEST GELS!
There's a wobbling in the empty space between Fern and the entity, like a wriggling eel of subtly denser air. The branch connection is established.
There's a wobbling in the empty space between Fern and the entity, like a wriggling eel of subtly denser air. The branch connection is established.
THE FOLDER USED CYST DUMP
The entity, a Folder, graciously accepts the opportunity to purge its surplus cysts through the gel channel. If you don't know what any of that means that's just too bad.
The entity, a Folder, graciously accepts the opportunity to purge its surplus cysts through the gel channel. If you don't know what any of that means that's just too bad.
FERN LOSES 1 HEALTH...BUT HER MAXIMUM HEALTH PERMANENTLY INCREASES BY 1!
The heck am I doin' with....oranges??? Are these oranges????
The heck am I doin' with....oranges??? Are these oranges????
FERN USED REQUEST GELS!
The FOLDER attempts to drift away and curl its flaps inward, but the shimmering connection between it and Fern does not break. A second materializes, the two lines wrapped around one another like a DNA strand.
MMMMORRRRRE!!!!
The FOLDER attempts to drift away and curl its flaps inward, but the shimmering connection between it and Fern does not break. A second materializes, the two lines wrapped around one another like a DNA strand.
MMMMORRRRRE!!!!
THE FOLDER USED... CYST DUMP?
The FOLDER shudders, emitting a sound between a whine and a hoot, and a few more of the abstract nodules flow through the connection. Not as many.
The FOLDER shudders, emitting a sound between a whine and a hoot, and a few more of the abstract nodules flow through the connection. Not as many.
FERN LOSES 1 HEALTH. MAXIMUM HEALTH INCREASES BY 1!
JuICY!!! I FEEL GREAT!!
HAH!! HAHA! THEY'RE GREAT!! WILLIS!!! THEY'RE GRRRRRRRREAT!!! GET IT!?!? YOU DON'T GET IT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW THINGS!!!!
JuICY!!! I FEEL GREAT!!
HAH!! HAHA! THEY'RE GREAT!! WILLIS!!! THEY'RE GRRRRRRRREAT!!! GET IT!?!? YOU DON'T GET IT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW THINGS!!!!
WILLIS
Um...ok miss Fern...
Um...ok miss Fern...
FERN USED REQUEST GELS!
GOTTA HAVE MY POPS!!!
GOTTA HAVE MY POPS!!!
THE FOLDER LOSES CYSTS
The FOLDER has curled into a tight ball, but the connection continues to multiply.
The FOLDER has curled into a tight ball, but the connection continues to multiply.
FERN LOSES 1 HEALTH. MAXIMUM HEALTH INCREASES BY 1!
WILLIS
Fern...I think.......you gotta stop that......
Fern...I think.......you gotta stop that......
FOLDER USED BRANCH CORROSION
Weird vibrations spiral outward from the FOLDER. The sensation is like a million tiny caterpillars screaming in rage.
Weird vibrations spiral outward from the FOLDER. The sensation is like a million tiny caterpillars screaming in rage.
FERN LOSES 3 HEALTH
WILLIS LOSES 3 HEALTH
ISAAC LOSES 3 HEALTH
MISS LOSES 3 HEALTH
Uhh...didn't exactly sign up for this one, guys...
Uhh...didn't exactly sign up for this one, guys...
FOLDER
-.-. .-. ..- -. -.-. .... .. -. --. / -- --- .. ... - / . -..- -.-. --- .-. .. .- - . ... / .-.. .. .--. .. -.. / -... --- ..- -. -.. .- .-. .. . ... / . -..- - . .-. -. .- .-.. / - --- / ...- . .-. -- .. -.-. .. --- ..- ... / -- .. -.-. .-. --- ..-. .-.. --- .-. .- / -.. . --. . -. . .-. .- - . -.. / -... -.-- / .-- .... --- --- .--. .. -. --. / .--. .-. --- - .-. ..- ... .. --- -. ... / --- ..-. / .--. . - .-. .. -.-. .... --- .-. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / .-. . .--. --- .--. ..- .-.. .- - . / ..-. --- ..- .-. -.--. ....- -.--.- / ... .- -..- --- .--. .... --- -. . ... -.-.--
-.-. .-. ..- -. -.-. .... .. -. --. / -- --- .. ... - / . -..- -.-. --- .-. .. .- - . ... / .-.. .. .--. .. -.. / -... --- ..- -. -.. .- .-. .. . ... / . -..- - . .-. -. .- .-.. / - --- / ...- . .-. -- .. -.-. .. --- ..- ... / -- .. -.-. .-. --- ..-. .-.. --- .-. .- / -.. . --. . -. . .-. .- - . -.. / -... -.-- / .-- .... --- --- .--. .. -. --. / .--. .-. --- - .-. ..- ... .. --- -. ... / --- ..-. / .--. . - .-. .. -.-. .... --- .-. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / .-. . .--. --- .--. ..- .-.. .- - . / ..-. --- ..- .-. -.--. ....- -.--.- / ... .- -..- --- .--. .... --- -. . ... -.-.--
FERN
DOn'T tELLme wHeN I hAd EnOuGH!! You AiN'T MY DaDdy-O, BUCKAROO!!!
Fern's quasi-visible branches are squirming around the room more and more violently. They lift her off the floor.
DOn'T tELLme wHeN I hAd EnOuGH!! You AiN'T MY DaDdy-O, BUCKAROO!!!
Fern's quasi-visible branches are squirming around the room more and more violently. They lift her off the floor.
>WILLIS: USE THE WRONG WAY SIGN!
WILLIS:
Hold on...I got a thing!
Hold on...I got a thing!
WILLIS USED THE WRONG WAY SIGN ON FERN!
Fern hisses at the sign like a Vampire at the holy cross. One of Fern's SIX shimmering connections to the Folder appears to sever itself and curl back into her.
Fern hisses at the sign like a Vampire at the holy cross. One of Fern's SIX shimmering connections to the Folder appears to sever itself and curl back into her.
FOLDER USED PRECISION CORRODE!
Sensing Fern's momentary distraction, the Folder sends a sizzling green and pink ripple through the air directly into her.
Sensing Fern's momentary distraction, the Folder sends a sizzling green and pink ripple through the air directly into her.
FERN LOSES 4 HEALTH
WILLIS:
...oop...
...oop...
RAMBLIN' EVIL COLORECTAL POLYP:
Hey, uh, gettin' a little bumpy in this here inventory...no pressure or anything but if Fern croaks in this state there's really no telling where, or even if, she'll wake up again, and her branches just might drag the rest of us down with her.
Hey, uh, gettin' a little bumpy in this here inventory...no pressure or anything but if Fern croaks in this state there's really no telling where, or even if, she'll wake up again, and her branches just might drag the rest of us down with her.
MISS:
Oh yeah, been there. We gotta calm both of them down or she isn't gonna disconnect.
MISS USED SIGH WAVE
Barely looking up, Miss casually turns her smartphone towards the FOLDER. A beam of blue energy is not so much "fired" from the screen as it sort of drags itself forth with the might of a retail worker getting out of bed.
Oh yeah, been there. We gotta calm both of them down or she isn't gonna disconnect.
MISS USED SIGH WAVE
Barely looking up, Miss casually turns her smartphone towards the FOLDER. A beam of blue energy is not so much "fired" from the screen as it sort of drags itself forth with the might of a retail worker getting out of bed.
THE FOLDER appears to be recharging from its last attack, and shivers as the energy beam lazily staggers into it like a drunken lightning bolt. The creature drops a little to the floor and its fleshy folds loosen again as one of Fern's FIVE remaining branch connections appear to retreat from its ghostly form.
>WILLIS: USE HEALTH POTION ON FERN! ISAAC: DEFEND YOURSELF! MISS: HELP???
WILLIS USED HEALTH POTION!
Handing Fern the potion, she eagerly drinks it and regains all HP, but seems to become dizzy and nauseated. Another connection to the FOLDER dissipates.
Handing Fern the potion, she eagerly drinks it and regains all HP, but seems to become dizzy and nauseated. Another connection to the FOLDER dissipates.
FOLDER USED BRANCH CORROSION!
It appears to be growing only more impatient and more frantic as the connections shrink in number.
It appears to be growing only more impatient and more frantic as the connections shrink in number.
FERN LOSES 3 HEALTH
WILLIS LOSES 3 HEALTH
ISAAC LOSES 3 HEALTH
MISS LOSES 3 HEALTH
...I'm not getting paid enough for this...
MISS'S PHONE BEGINS TO GLOW.
...I'm not getting paid enough for this...
MISS'S PHONE BEGINS TO GLOW.
MISS:
Alright, step aside guys...don't let Fern sprout any more branches.
MISS USED EXHAUSTION BLAST
The burst of light from her phone would be dazzling if it were a less pessimistic shade of grey-blue and it didn't just sort of "roll" out of the phone more like a big ball of grease than an explosion of energy.
The sound of the energy blast is the energy blast equivalent to someone softly saying "ugh" before turning around and leaving.
Alright, step aside guys...don't let Fern sprout any more branches.
MISS USED EXHAUSTION BLAST
The burst of light from her phone would be dazzling if it were a less pessimistic shade of grey-blue and it didn't just sort of "roll" out of the phone more like a big ball of grease than an explosion of energy.
The sound of the energy blast is the energy blast equivalent to someone softly saying "ugh" before turning around and leaving.
FOLDER:
.-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.. .- -.-. .... .-. -.-- -- --- ... . / -.. . - .-. .. - ..- ... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .- .-.. .-.. . ...- .. .- - . ... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-- . -.. -. . ... -.. .- -.-- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- -... .-. ..- -. -.-. .... .. -. --. / ... .... ..- - - .-.. . -.-. --- -.-. -.- ... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-
.-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.. .- -.-. .... .-. -.-- -- --- ... . / -.. . - .-. .. - ..- ... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .- .-.. .-.. . ...- .. .- - . ... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-- . -.. -. . ... -.. .- -.-- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- -... .-. ..- -. -.-. .... .. -. --. / ... .... ..- - - .-.. . -.-. --- -.-. -.- ... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-
THE FOLDER wavers, the pits that remind you of eyes appear to narrow, and its flaps droop straight down. The vibrations of the room feel like a series of gentle sighs. The final connections to Fern seem to drop to the floor.
MISS:
Here you go, dude.
Miss does something or other on her phone again, and a ripple from the phone to the Folder resembles Fern's theft of its gels and cysts in reverse.
Here you go, dude.
Miss does something or other on her phone again, and a ripple from the phone to the Folder resembles Fern's theft of its gels and cysts in reverse.
FOLDER:
.-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .----. .--. .-. . -.-. .. .- - . / .. - .-.-.-
.-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .----. .--. .-. . -.-. .. .- - . / .. - .-.-.-
THE FOLDER appears to implode in slow-motion, curling into a fine point before vanishing with a sound like a tuba full of pudding.
FERN HAS GAINED A PERMANENT THREE HEALTH!
EVERYONE ELSE FEELS KIND OF LIKE GARBAGE!
EVERYONE ELSE FEELS KIND OF LIKE GARBAGE!
