YOU ME:

...I don't know who or what you are, and I don't know what kind of sick game you think this is, but I'm pretty sure you're real at this point and that was not okay. You may have been helpful here and there, but you're not turning me into some puppet for your twisted entertainment. Look what you're making me do! I don't even know what to yell at, so I'm yelling at a ceiling light, and now I even look ridiculous compared to a huge sandwich, which you totally roped into whatever disgusting nonsense you thought you were pulling and now I have to apologize to a huge sandwich. Why is that my life!? WHAT DID I EVEN JUST BREAK IN HALF? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? I COULDN'T EVEN SEE ANYTHING, I JUST KNEW IT WAS THERE. AUGH.

I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU. I MEAN IT THIS TIME. I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.