Rubber Bugs

I've steadily amassed artificial arthropods since I was barely a baby, and at the time of this writing have an entire tote bag, junk drawer and two shoeboxes stuffed full of just the ones I've NOT scattered around as decoration. Though the bulk of tiny, generic "bug" toys is made up of the same old floppy spiders and centipedes, a little digging will turn up almost as many styles as their real-world counterparts. Here are a few favorites from my out-of-control collection:




ROACHES:



Just when I think I've seen every single variety of life-size rubber cockroach known to man, some fool goes and casts a whole new mold for something that doesn't even have a copyright on it. The bottom left specimens are both the poorest and most common, often sold as $1 "practical jokes", while the second from the top left is the most detailed and most rare. All ten that I own are from the same prize bin at a "Six Flags" arcade, and have a finely detailed underside that you may have seen if you've been to Tentacle Town...and If you don't already know what I'm talking about, you don't deserve to anyway!





FLIES:



Likewise, I believe I've tracked down most of the life-size flies on the market, and the middle one here is the best. The third one is the easiest to mistake for the real thing, but the cheapskate manufacturers only gave it four legs, perhaps figuring that noone will know the difference with its wings in the way. Treacherous! Not shown are my scores of extra-tiny flies, which are usually marketed alongside those tiny black ants and spiders but are generally rarer.





CENTIPEDES:



Most rubber centipedes are just a flat strip of rubber, but every now and then you get one with some real body to it. Remember that sentence, because you'll definately want to repeat it in a social environment.

I have no idea where the first centipede came from, but I know I used to have it in two different sizes. The second came in a whole bag of "venomous creatures", the third was an elaborate lollipop-stick, and the last, which is easily the best-looking, came in a can of "crystal goop!"




PULL-BACK BUGS:



I have a lot of rubber bugs with motorized wheels on them, ranging from wind-ups to spark-shooters. These three, however, are the nicest-looking and most robust (another statement to make cooler people weep). I'm not exactly certain what that larva is supposed to be, but the big yellow termite is one of my favorite generic toys and the only rubber termite I've ever run across. The crab is another one you may have seen "elsewhere" on the site, and I love that the wheels actually take it sideways.



"MUSEUM QUALITY" PARASITE SET:



These "museum quality" animal sets are pretty common, but this particular series is nearly impossible to track down. It's a shame there aren't more parasite toys out there; the same company makes a giant plastic cat-flea and I have another plastic tick drifting around from the dollar store, but nowhere else have I encountered plastic mites and lice such as these. You have a soft tick, PUBIC LOUSE, hard tick, flea, head louse, "dust mite", bedbug, and coolest of all, a mange mite (scabies). I say "dust mite" in quotations because of the ridiculous paint job that has no basis in reality and even gives it googly-eyes, perhaps in the hopes of raking in a bit more money than a grey lump with legs would have earned.


MYSTERY BUG:



I got this years ago in a set of otherwise obvious and painstakingly accurate insects, so I'm pretty sure it's grounded in reality, but I've never been able to figure out *exactly* what it is. Perhaps a Dermapteran (the family that includes "earwigs"), or maybe an aquatic nymph? Defeated, I have finally broken down and asked for help. Keep your eyes on whatsthatbug.com for further developments!